Nagging Negatives

I get it... I have twins and I will hear all sorts of comments about them because of this fact. I truly do wish though that more of the comments would be more on the positive side and not the negative.. I understand that not all twins and other multiples are well behaved in public. I also understand that having multiples is hard work. I realize that many people are glad that they aren't me (a mother/parent of multiples).

I do realize that even having 1 baby is hard work (and secretly I sometimes wish that I had 1 kid at a time too). Must I hear this almost every time I go out (even when I'm out with only one kiddo or by myself) ? Do they think that I am not sick of it? So I've started to retaliate..

• When I get asked "Are they twins?", I've started to say... "No..they're triplets...oh no I left one home alone".
• When they say "Double Trouble", I reply with "Twice as Nice" or "Double the Love".
• When they ask how I wound up with them... I so want to say 'I had infertility problems and after many years of trying we finally tried IVF and got lucky..do you need my doctor's number?' but I do usually just say "I guess I got lucky".

I've also been much more aware of people who are out with their own multiples and making sure that I comment positively or commend them on how great a job they are doing (even if the reality is far from that for them).

So you might be wondering why I am blogging about this tonight. Well something happened tonight while I was out getting groceries with Lily. We had scored a Car Shopping Cart (I've only seen 2 at our Stop n Shop and they are usually being used by kids that really don't need them) and Lily was having a great time sitting in the car section and turning the steering wheel and beeping the horn. She was also leaning out every so often and I was having to remind her to "Please sit up Lillian Grace" when she would do it. She only threw her hat out of the cart once (and luckily someone retrieved it for me). As we were leaving though someone commented about her (I can't even remember what they said) and I commented that we were heading home to Daddy and her twin and they were basically floored and commented about them being Double Trouble. People who don't even know us or have met Anna just figured that if Lily was acting up (she was at that moment) that her twin must be just as bad or didn't deserve the opportunity to go out with Mommy too. In truth, Lily was having a not so good day and it was easier to bring her with me than to leave her at home to have a fit with Daddy since I had taken the opportunity to do some last minute shopping for the holidays with my mom and was gone for a few hours today. These comments just aren't fair. So if you've made it this far into my rambling on this posting, please be kind to parents of multiple children. We need to hear it.

Slow and Steady Progress

When Lee and I were in Key West almost 4 years ago for our anniversary there was this guy with trained cats that did a show at Sunset (I can't remember if I've talked about him before). Anyway we got a kick out of hearing him say to the cats... "Hurry up Take your time" over and over. I swear this has totally become my mantra lately.
I want the next month or so to hurry up and get here so I can get the apartment packed up (we don't have a move in date yet) but at the same time I want to enjoy the time that we have. Have I confused you yet??? I'm in a weird place lately. I feel like I'm making progress in some areas of my life and stalled out in others. The PPD is getting better. It sounds stupid but I read a book about being a new mom that was written by a new mom and it totally made sense to me and I feel like I'm coming out of that fog but then entering another one with Lee and our relationship. It's too personal to put here for everyone to read and comment on. I will say though that some days are great for us and then there are the days that I find myself going down a road that is rocky at best. As most things in my life go I have absolute faith that things will work out for the best and am hoping that noone gets hurt unnecessarily in the process of figuring things out.

New pictures of the girls

The Girls at Two Weeks. Lily and Anna

Anna tries out the bouncy chair

Mom and Lily bonding

Mommy's belly is gone!

I can't believe how big they are getting to be already. Hope that you enjoyed the pictures here. There are plenty more to come each day.

Baby Announcements I'm Making

In an effort to save us some major money...I'm making our baby announcements.

It's been a fun process so far. I scraplifted (stole) a saying that I saw in the baby announcement book at IParty while I was Pregnant. I also bought my own cardstock (25 already folded sheets with 25 envelopes) and background paper at Michael's (8x8 paper on clearance) for less than $20 total. I'll also be including a wallet size photo of the girls from when they were 2 days old (see the post below for the picture) and came up with the following which I think is a rather great attempt at my own announcements. Maybe this could be a new career for me. What do you all think?

Miscellaneous Stuff

I sometimes hate Sundays.. why you ask? Because it's usually the day of the week that Lee's brother from CA calls in regard to their mom. Lee is usually able to get through the calls and I've taken to listening in on the second line so I have all the information too. After these calls are over though it's a whole different ball of wax and I just don't know what to do anymore for him. I try so hard to be there for him emotionally and hold him while he emotes but it's getting harder and harder and since I've already been down this road with my Nana (and countless other relatives) it breaks my heart too even though I must be strong for Lee. Why must life be so gosh darn hard at times ??? Why can't it be easy answers most of the time? (please don't feel like a response is needed) I hate this road with a passion. I really do. I hate seeing the people that I care about so much hurting. I have this need to make it all better somehow but I know in my heart that I can't fix things with a kiss or a hug. Today it really didn't help that at church the minister asked us to pull up a treasured memory or snapshot of our grandfather. I was practically in tears when I tried to pull up a memory of my Papa (the only grandfather I knew) and with the exception of his death (great 1st memory to have), I came up blank and then my mind slightly wandered to my Dad and how much he'd be loving these babies of mine to be and how he would be one of the greatest grandpas (or Papas) ever. Which then got me thinking about what if anything I'd have to tell my baby girls about their grandfathers (since both of them are gone now). I'm sure that Lee will have his memories and thoughts to share about his dad but I couldn't even begin to think about what I'd say about my dad. Where would I ever start and when the heck would I ever end? I actually think at some point they'd be telling me to stop talking about him. Maybe this is the WHY as to why family and traditions are so big to me. Why I make it such a big deal to spend time with my family (this includes Lee's family) whenever I can. Why I don't mind being the Family Historian and keeping the Family Trees as up to date as I can (I actually worked on it for 2+ hours tonight). I need those connections since I feel that they make me WHO I AM. Heck of a way to define myself.
Maybe I'll just chalk up tonight's tears and woes to the ever present Pregnancy Hormones that are constantly flowing through me lately though that's not much of an excuse.
Guessing that I'm going to need my glass of Sparkling Cider tonight more than I thought.
The Patriots just lost... Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Losing My Religion

There will one less Catholic in the world after approx 11:30am tomorrow. ME. I've been a Catholic my entire life.. till now. Ever since my dad died I've been extremely doubtful of all the stuff that being a Catholic means. I tried really hard to attend Mass or at least to go on Easter and Christmas but even that limited amount was too hard at times. This past December Lee and I went to California for a longish weekend around New Year's. We stayed with Lee's brother and his family. Anyway while there we attended church with Lee's Mom. She's Unitarian Universalist and I really liked the service.. So when we got home I started looking into local UU churches and decided that we would try the one in my hometown. So tomorrow we will both be signing the book as members of MUUC and I'll become a Unitarian.. though when we have kids I might still baptize them in the Catholic church and also have them dedicated in the Unitarian Church. Decisions decisions.. well at least there is plenty of time to decide that one..

Life Sucks

I've had a really bad week this week... I kept holding out hope though for a piece of good news that I was really hoping to get on Tuesday.. but it never came, so back to square 1 once again. Hopefully for the last time..

Do you like ROLLERCOASTERS ?

I love them... Really I do... I love the whole experience... The waiting in line and watching other people enjoying the ride, finally having a turn to get on the ride, that first big STEEP hill that you have to climb to even have enough momentum to get you through the ride. The thrills, the chills, I love it all. Don't get me wrong though, by the time the ride is about done, I'm done too. I want off but I also can't wait to do it all again.. Ok so where the heck is Cheryl going with this very obvious metaphor you ask? Don't worry I'm getting there. I also like Merry Go Rounds.. heck according to my mom it wasn't till the day after her ride on one at 41 weeks and 2 days pregnant with me that I decided enough was enough and I was coming out.
Here's the important , where is she going with this part..
For the past few years (yes years) my life has gone between these two extremes.. the roller coaster and the Merry Go Round. Lately I feel like life has been in Merry Go Round mode.. I'm going round and round in circles and getting nowhere quickly.. no permanent job in sight, things with Lee and I not being the best between us, no babies in my arms (well with the exception of my nieces and my friend's babies). But finally I feel like I'm getting back to the Roller Coaster part of my life.. I'm in the line waiting still to get onto the Roller Coaster but I'm enjoying the scenery and watching other people enjoy the same ride that I can't wait to get on. I know that pretty soon I'll be next to ride the Roller Coaster and that I'll enjoy the ride and that eventually I'll start to scream that I want off but that once off I'll want to get back on the ride again.

Ok to those that are still lost (that is if anyone is reading my blogs), my job situation is starting to look better, I'm learning so many new skills that I know I can use in many ways, I'm also noticing that things between Lee and myself are really good at the moment, and there is a strong possibility that a baby might be in our future sooner than later. So bring on the Roller Coaster, I'm ready, willing and able.