Nagging Negatives

I get it... I have twins and I will hear all sorts of comments about them because of this fact. I truly do wish though that more of the comments would be more on the positive side and not the negative.. I understand that not all twins and other multiples are well behaved in public. I also understand that having multiples is hard work. I realize that many people are glad that they aren't me (a mother/parent of multiples).

I do realize that even having 1 baby is hard work (and secretly I sometimes wish that I had 1 kid at a time too). Must I hear this almost every time I go out (even when I'm out with only one kiddo or by myself) ? Do they think that I am not sick of it? So I've started to retaliate..

• When I get asked "Are they twins?", I've started to say... "No..they're triplets...oh no I left one home alone".
• When they say "Double Trouble", I reply with "Twice as Nice" or "Double the Love".
• When they ask how I wound up with them... I so want to say 'I had infertility problems and after many years of trying we finally tried IVF and got lucky..do you need my doctor's number?' but I do usually just say "I guess I got lucky".

I've also been much more aware of people who are out with their own multiples and making sure that I comment positively or commend them on how great a job they are doing (even if the reality is far from that for them).

So you might be wondering why I am blogging about this tonight. Well something happened tonight while I was out getting groceries with Lily. We had scored a Car Shopping Cart (I've only seen 2 at our Stop n Shop and they are usually being used by kids that really don't need them) and Lily was having a great time sitting in the car section and turning the steering wheel and beeping the horn. She was also leaning out every so often and I was having to remind her to "Please sit up Lillian Grace" when she would do it. She only threw her hat out of the cart once (and luckily someone retrieved it for me). As we were leaving though someone commented about her (I can't even remember what they said) and I commented that we were heading home to Daddy and her twin and they were basically floored and commented about them being Double Trouble. People who don't even know us or have met Anna just figured that if Lily was acting up (she was at that moment) that her twin must be just as bad or didn't deserve the opportunity to go out with Mommy too. In truth, Lily was having a not so good day and it was easier to bring her with me than to leave her at home to have a fit with Daddy since I had taken the opportunity to do some last minute shopping for the holidays with my mom and was gone for a few hours today. These comments just aren't fair. So if you've made it this far into my rambling on this posting, please be kind to parents of multiple children. We need to hear it.

Miscellaneous Stuff

I sometimes hate Sundays.. why you ask? Because it's usually the day of the week that Lee's brother from CA calls in regard to their mom. Lee is usually able to get through the calls and I've taken to listening in on the second line so I have all the information too. After these calls are over though it's a whole different ball of wax and I just don't know what to do anymore for him. I try so hard to be there for him emotionally and hold him while he emotes but it's getting harder and harder and since I've already been down this road with my Nana (and countless other relatives) it breaks my heart too even though I must be strong for Lee. Why must life be so gosh darn hard at times ??? Why can't it be easy answers most of the time? (please don't feel like a response is needed) I hate this road with a passion. I really do. I hate seeing the people that I care about so much hurting. I have this need to make it all better somehow but I know in my heart that I can't fix things with a kiss or a hug. Today it really didn't help that at church the minister asked us to pull up a treasured memory or snapshot of our grandfather. I was practically in tears when I tried to pull up a memory of my Papa (the only grandfather I knew) and with the exception of his death (great 1st memory to have), I came up blank and then my mind slightly wandered to my Dad and how much he'd be loving these babies of mine to be and how he would be one of the greatest grandpas (or Papas) ever. Which then got me thinking about what if anything I'd have to tell my baby girls about their grandfathers (since both of them are gone now). I'm sure that Lee will have his memories and thoughts to share about his dad but I couldn't even begin to think about what I'd say about my dad. Where would I ever start and when the heck would I ever end? I actually think at some point they'd be telling me to stop talking about him. Maybe this is the WHY as to why family and traditions are so big to me. Why I make it such a big deal to spend time with my family (this includes Lee's family) whenever I can. Why I don't mind being the Family Historian and keeping the Family Trees as up to date as I can (I actually worked on it for 2+ hours tonight). I need those connections since I feel that they make me WHO I AM. Heck of a way to define myself.
Maybe I'll just chalk up tonight's tears and woes to the ever present Pregnancy Hormones that are constantly flowing through me lately though that's not much of an excuse.
Guessing that I'm going to need my glass of Sparkling Cider tonight more than I thought.
The Patriots just lost... Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Say It ain't so

I got a phone call last night about my Grandmother last night from my oldest brother. It seems that she is possibly dying and only has a few days to live. I'm going to miss her quite a bit. I have spent the last 3 years not visiting her since for me it is so hard to see her since until maybe 8 years ago she was a strong and vibrant person who was just getting older and starting to make mistakes. She has Alzheimer's and hasn't known who I am for a few years now which is hard for me to deal with. When my dad died a few years ago she would ask about him all the time and unfortunately we would lie to her.. tell her that he had just been there and didn't she remember seeing him just a few minutes ago. Not nice of us to do to her but it was the only thing that we could think of to get her off the subject. She just turned 93 in May and shares a birthdate with my oldest niece (they are 88 years apart in age) . According to my brother she is comfortable and no longer eating. Death is considered imminent and I'm hoping that she at least is still with us on Sunday. I want to say Goodbye to her.. It's only right.

I can't wait to get away this weekend

Because once again I am without a job... (I had typed up a whole post but the computer ate it).. The doctor (that's me) prescribes getting away and just relaxing.... but I am still so upset that this job didn't work out for me.. I had perfect attendence and no reason to be let go (I was a temp).. the reason I got is pure Nepotism... the siblings and children of permanent employees are coming to work for the summer.. it stinks... I got no warning that this was going to happen though since it was decided on Friday and I got told Friday night once I was already home. No time to even say goodbye to people i cared about and wanted to stay in touch with. it sucks.. At least Lee and I are getting away this weekend ... time to just relax and be... and I can't wait.. plus it's Lee's birthday weekend and I have a few surprises for him... this will be fun...