Long Time No Post

Sorry about that. Just been a BAD few days and life is just running me into the ground.

To catch you up:

• Nana is still with us and holding her own. She is one stubborn woman.
• My life long dreams of a family are still on hold, for now.
• I have another new job, which I really like so far. Much better than the last one I had.
• Lee and I are doing more "stuff" together and it feels good to have such a great connection for once.

I'll try to keep this more up to date. I'm too tired to do much more tonight. Till then.

Say It ain't so

I got a phone call last night about my Grandmother last night from my oldest brother. It seems that she is possibly dying and only has a few days to live. I'm going to miss her quite a bit. I have spent the last 3 years not visiting her since for me it is so hard to see her since until maybe 8 years ago she was a strong and vibrant person who was just getting older and starting to make mistakes. She has Alzheimer's and hasn't known who I am for a few years now which is hard for me to deal with. When my dad died a few years ago she would ask about him all the time and unfortunately we would lie to her.. tell her that he had just been there and didn't she remember seeing him just a few minutes ago. Not nice of us to do to her but it was the only thing that we could think of to get her off the subject. She just turned 93 in May and shares a birthdate with my oldest niece (they are 88 years apart in age) . According to my brother she is comfortable and no longer eating. Death is considered imminent and I'm hoping that she at least is still with us on Sunday. I want to say Goodbye to her.. It's only right.

Once more with feeling

Tomorrow is my last attempt at something I've wanted my entire life.. I have plenty of other chances left if tomorrow doesn't work out but I'm sort of hoping that this time things work out for me (us) .

We had a nice night (after a quick blow out that blew over quickly, thnakfully) having a cookout on the back porch. I even bought marshmallows to roast with but I think instead I might need to learn how to make Rice Krispy treats. Yummy.

Losing My Religion

There will one less Catholic in the world after approx 11:30am tomorrow. ME. I've been a Catholic my entire life.. till now. Ever since my dad died I've been extremely doubtful of all the stuff that being a Catholic means. I tried really hard to attend Mass or at least to go on Easter and Christmas but even that limited amount was too hard at times. This past December Lee and I went to California for a longish weekend around New Year's. We stayed with Lee's brother and his family. Anyway while there we attended church with Lee's Mom. She's Unitarian Universalist and I really liked the service.. So when we got home I started looking into local UU churches and decided that we would try the one in my hometown. So tomorrow we will both be signing the book as members of MUUC and I'll become a Unitarian.. though when we have kids I might still baptize them in the Catholic church and also have them dedicated in the Unitarian Church. Decisions decisions.. well at least there is plenty of time to decide that one..

Life Sucks

I've had a really bad week this week... I kept holding out hope though for a piece of good news that I was really hoping to get on Tuesday.. but it never came, so back to square 1 once again. Hopefully for the last time..

Old time Photo

Here's our Old Time Photo... We did a Civil War Era one... Hopefully if we do this again we'll do one of Lee's choosing and that would involve the 1930's and gangsters... should be fun..

We had a really nice weekend.

Oh my gosh what a nice weekend we had up in Rockport. The cottage was cute as could be and was perfect for us. A full bathroom, a nice bedroom with a Queen bed, kitchen and eating area, a living area and a small deck. The only not so nice part of the weekend was that it rained. A lot. But we had the best time... I even convinced Lee to do old fashioned photos. I'll post it later since I still need to scan it. We hada great time walking all over Rockport. I had gotten Lee a Got Lobster shirt in Boston and I didn't give it to him till Saturday morning. He loved it and decided to wear it that day.. especially since we were going out for Lobster Dinner that night. Sunday we turned in the key to the cottage and then went for a long walk around Halibut Point State Park. It was a really nice day for it. We climbed all sorts of rocks and had a great time taking all sorts of pictures. On the way home we stopped off at Woodman's in Essex for lunch. Yum. I can't wait to go back up to Rockport again.