One last sleep

Argh... do you hear me screaming???  Do you???

I'm okay everyone.. just a Momma realizing that tonight is their last sleep at Kindergarten kids and in the morning they will morph into Big Kid First Graders. I should be ready.. I know what to expect.. we got through the whole going to Kindergarten thing last year with no battle scars. I should be okay with this. Why the heck am I not okay with this?

My babies are no longer my babies.. they are growing and starting to spread their wings and I feel a little lucky that tomorrow I actually get to somewhat follow them into the building though my destination is the Cafeteria which is where I will be waiting to greet the new Kindergarten parents and offer them a kind smile and some tissues along with a cup of coffee and some treats while they get to know their fellow Kindergarten parents before I go to work and get to sit and wonder about how their day is going and if they are behaving and hoping that I don't get a phone call on the first day (the record here is that I got a call on Day 2 of school last year). This year there are 2 classrooms to balance between and 2 teachers to get to know possibly very well. I have faith in them and their teachers.. we can do this.. we have done it before.

Quick little confession.. I hate doing this alone.. I hate that I have to do it alone.. First days are one of THOSE days for me.. I might need some hand holding tomorrow.. for now a quick couple of letters to the girls since I started doing it last year and I'm all about traditions and doing the same thing year after year.

Dear Anna,

You did it.. you made it to First Grade. I am sooo proud of you. I have faith that you will have a great year and will rock it like no one's business. Remember to listen to Miss Vergados and do what she asks you without having a fit or a tantrum. I'm looking forward to hearing about your first day and who is in your class this year. Remember that you will get to see Rosie and Amelia at lunch and recess and that they will probably miss you too. Use your words and be the great friend that I know you can be.

I love you.

Mommy


Dear Lily,

Guess what? You are a First Grader and yes I know that you are sad that you didn't get Mrs Lafferty for your teacher but I've heard awesome stuff about Miss Smith and know that you are with the best teacher we could ask for to be your teacher this year. I hope and know that you will have a great year as a First Grader. Keep being the awesome friend that you are and I'm looking forward to hearing about what you are learning this year and what you learned in just the first day. Just like Little Quack you can do anything once you decide to jump on in and make your SPLASH happen.

I love you bigger than the world..

Mommy


Okay folks indulge me one last letter...


Dear Lee,

Tomorrow is a big day. Our girls are becoming First Graders and I wish that you were here to see it happen in person. I'll have to settle for knowing that you will be there in spirit instead and in our hearts forever. We all miss you and think about you quite a bit. Not as much as when you first left us but know that you are missed the most on days like tomorrow that are First Days. Even though you aren't here you are still a big part of tomorrow. I wish that you could be there to hold my hand and tell me to calm down, that I have this, to breathe and to look at the girls and see that they are growing and thriving and doing so great because I am their mom and that they trust me to do the best I can for them and to protect them no matter what happens.
Thank you for making me the girls' mom and trusting that I would be able to do this alone and having the faith in me that you have always had in me to do this. If you didn't maybe you wouldn't have left us when and how you did.  To quote a favorite book of yours and mine with a small bit of poetic license; I love you forever, I'll love you for always as long as I'm living my husband you'll be.

Cheryl