Little Things

So this past week was a hard one to get through.. This past week included the one month mark since Lee passed, the girls' 3rd Birthday and their Birthday Party. I made it through though.. just barely.. Thank goodness for good friends and family members who helped me make it past these 3 milestones. I have one left for this month to go and that will happen this week.

Lee would have been 52 years old on this coming Friday the 20th. I may need major handholding for this milestone. Dependent on the weather I may go up to the cemetary to visit him alone. I have not been to the cemetary since we buried him on April 16th. I tried to go a couple of weeks ago but the rain and lack of my picnic blanket to sit on held me back from visiting. I need to get there.. no matter what. Maybe I'll bring some flowers with me even though the marker I bought isn't there yet. I so hope it goes well...

There are so many little reminders of Lee around the apartment... his little pot of lip balm wax on the lamp in our bedroom, his shoes on the floor in our room, his hat hanging in the hall, jackets and various t-shirts in the hall closet and his clothing in our bedroom closet. I can't even think about moving anything yet.. I'm not ready to do it and wonder if I ever will..