Miss You So Much

Dear Lee,

It's been 3 months a week and 2 days since you passed away and I miss you every single day... I miss your crazy ideas, your chats with me at night after a long day (even before the girls arrived), cuddling in bed with you and the girls every so often. I miss how you'd ask me to rub your back and check for bumps but somehow never usually got around to doing the same for me. The random pictures that would just appear on my camera of the girls that I know I never took. I miss belting out Beatles songs with you, making you dance with me around the apartment every so often - you really didn't like when I asked.. but did it anyway to make me happy. I miss mini-golfing with you. The surprises that you would get for me just because.. our trips.. especially the ones that you would plan out and not tell me about until we were in the car. I miss the trips to the grocery store with the girls in tow and how you would push them around the store proud as could be when they still fit in the infant carseats and we used the double snap and go to get around. I don't miss the arguments that we would have. Though I do miss having someone to vent about Life and my mother too. I miss your point of view on the world.. you really made me think.. I miss all these things about you.. but most of all I miss YOU.. My rock, my best friend, my partner in crime. If it were up to me, you'd still be here and you would be perfectly healthy and dry. I'm probably being selfish but there are so many days that I just can't get through alone.. I wasn't meant to raise these girls alone.. It's taking a huge village already and sometimes I feel like I am the village idiot and everyone is just waiting for me to mess up royally. Somehow I am doing this though... I wish I knew how. Someday I hope to see you again once I eventually get to where ever it is that you are. I need to go now..Lily and Anna need me..

Love you forever,

Cheryl.