I'm a Knitting Fool aka Is It Cold In Here

So I finshed my knitting lessons a couple of weeks ago.. I finally decided on my 1st project.. It's a scarf and I like how it's coming out.. I'm on my 2nd no make that my 4th attempt at it though.. The original one that I started was too thin since I was following the instructions and only did 16 stitches,... well I guess my yarn wasn't thick enough and when I got 8 or 9 inches in I realized that somehow I had reversed the pattern and tried to take a few rows out and wound up undoing the whole scarf... ARGH! Ok I thought, I'll just start over... famous last words.. especially since I added in some more stitches to get a better width. I had to take it all out again and then got a knot that I couldn't get out.. ok try again.. and again..

I've got at least another 7 inches going and the scarf is the right width (20 stitches seems to be the right amount). I might actually get the scarf done before Winter starts since it needs to be a total of 45 inches.. I may even make another one for Lee.. if there is time before winter gets here.. maybe by next Winter..

Long Time No Post

Sorry about that. Just been a BAD few days and life is just running me into the ground.

To catch you up:

• Nana is still with us and holding her own. She is one stubborn woman.
• My life long dreams of a family are still on hold, for now.
• I have another new job, which I really like so far. Much better than the last one I had.
• Lee and I are doing more "stuff" together and it feels good to have such a great connection for once.

I'll try to keep this more up to date. I'm too tired to do much more tonight. Till then.

Say It ain't so

I got a phone call last night about my Grandmother last night from my oldest brother. It seems that she is possibly dying and only has a few days to live. I'm going to miss her quite a bit. I have spent the last 3 years not visiting her since for me it is so hard to see her since until maybe 8 years ago she was a strong and vibrant person who was just getting older and starting to make mistakes. She has Alzheimer's and hasn't known who I am for a few years now which is hard for me to deal with. When my dad died a few years ago she would ask about him all the time and unfortunately we would lie to her.. tell her that he had just been there and didn't she remember seeing him just a few minutes ago. Not nice of us to do to her but it was the only thing that we could think of to get her off the subject. She just turned 93 in May and shares a birthdate with my oldest niece (they are 88 years apart in age) . According to my brother she is comfortable and no longer eating. Death is considered imminent and I'm hoping that she at least is still with us on Sunday. I want to say Goodbye to her.. It's only right.

Once more with feeling

Tomorrow is my last attempt at something I've wanted my entire life.. I have plenty of other chances left if tomorrow doesn't work out but I'm sort of hoping that this time things work out for me (us) .

We had a nice night (after a quick blow out that blew over quickly, thnakfully) having a cookout on the back porch. I even bought marshmallows to roast with but I think instead I might need to learn how to make Rice Krispy treats. Yummy.