Minor Rambling about a Minor yet Major event

I happened to be in the elevator at work the other day and was chatting with someone about something and I think I mentioned the kids and then mentioned that I'd lost my husband 3 years ago and then paused and changed that to 3.5 years ago. Holy cannoli's (small people here are slowly learning to read and I must be better about my typing out bad words) how did that happen? How has it been 3.5 years? Sometimes it feels much much longer and other times it feels like I basically just lost Lee (time wise not emotion).  When he first passed I marked every month... it's been a month, it's been 3 months. Oh wow 6 months. Now I barely notice that the 11th of the month is here again. Heck today is the 25th and I missed it by 2 weeks. Oh well.

So I have been growing and getting past a lot of my emotional baggage when it comes to Lee but at the same time I'm still sensitive when I tell people my reality and I think I frustrate and bewilder them when I laugh off their condolences now. People it's been 3.5 years that is 42 months. Am I supposed to be in mourning forever? I'm older, wiser, stronger and able to move on better now. I've got better stuff to do than to muddle my mind with grief when there is so much living to do. Lee wouldn't want me to be a puddle of grief for the rest of my days and it would be very sad commentary on my life if I let myself do that.