Disclaimer: I'm going to complain...
Two hours to myself... is that too much to ask of Lee. Two hours.. Lee was home today due to an appt regarding his pinky finger that he broke about 2 months ago. So since he was home I didn't need my mom to come over to watch the girls while I went out for my weekly knitting night. He did great for the first 1.5 hours.. but I swear at 7:30 exactly the phone calls started. "I can't calm them down"... "one cried and then the other one started up"... "when are you coming home" and my personal favorite.. calling me and then leaving me a message of a crying baby. I understand that he's not used to being home with the girls during the day but come on buddy give your wife a break for 2 hours so she can knit and see her friends in peace.
When do I get my break? I'm with these babies 24/7 everyday. Even when Lee gets home from work I barely get a break from the girls. I'm lucky most nights if I can eat a meal by myself. Or find time to knit. Even once they are down for the night (I feel so lucky that they sleep through the night already) I don't a break since I feel like I am running around like a headless chicken getting Lee's lunch together for the next day, doing laundry, trying to clean something around here (and it barely gets to stay that way) or any of the other things that need to be done.
I'm tired all the time yet he gets to take naps on the weekend. I also make and clean all the bottles. I can't even remember if Lee has ever cleaned a bottle or two for me.
I actually have a plan in place that will hopefully make him step up. I'm going to an all day crop from 9am till 9pm on the 18th of October. I'll bring my phone so he can call me but I'm not going home to bail him out with the babies. If that doesn't work, I'll get my relatives on his case the next day at the Baby Dedication for our girls. I might need to do that anyway.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Ohhh Cheryl, I so know where you are coming from, and I think most moms, especially stay at home ones, have been there, done that. It seems to me, that when the men become grandparents and are home and finally see how much work it is, they get it...25 years too late, but they get it. Dh did help some, but I still remeber sitting at the breakfast table on Sunday morning as he read the paper and sipped his coffee, I was trying to just do the NYT crossword puzzle and drink my coffee(decaf at that point)and holding ds in my lap and trying to keep him from crying(he cried all the time) and really resenting dh. It will get better, it really will, I promise and once it's passed, you realize how short a time it was, but while you're in the midst of it you wonder if you will ever get to be you again(you will).As much as we love our babies, it is still so hard someitmes! Complain away--you should probably drop a line at dmarie too-they are really supportive there too and they have all(well maybe except for CCC, but I'm sure her day is coming sometime soon)have been there. Hang in there, you are doing a great job.....
I could have written that Cheryl. The double standard sucks. I hope you're able to have a nice day out on the 18th and Lily and Anna are easy on their daddy.
LOL, been there, done that. If you don't train him now, this will continue to be his habit. Do they ever wonder who you call to get help? No one! It amazes me how dh can overlook their bedtimes if I'm not here, take them out to eat when I'm not available to cook, and shows discomfort when I'm not available to watch the girls because I have something important to do.
The ohnly thing I'll add, and this is in total hindsight as I wasn't so sure of it at the time, is that I'm glad I got to be the one home with the kids....as much as it was stressful, tiring, and frankly, somtimes boring, I am so glad that I got to see all the things, do all the things with the kids that I did. Do I want to go back there...heck no, but I'm glad I had the chance when I was there.
Cheryl, like Patti, I could have written that post.. my DH was the same way the first time around.. I don't understand the male mind.. but babies are just HARD for them to figure out.. keep pushing and someday , he might just get it..
In the meantime.. I feel for you..
just keep venting & getting out now and then.. you do deserve it..
Post a Comment