On a more Positive note..

my lace sock is doing well these days.. It is growing steadily as I work on it.. and just think when it is done, I get to do it all over again to make the second sock. Ugh. The gusset has been finished and I'm working on the just knit around and around phase.. though with this sock there is a pattern so the heel stitches are in the knit all the stitches phase and the pattern stitches are still being knitted according to the pattern that I have established till I am within 2" of my toes phase.

It's these pattern stitches that have been giving me fits as of late. So last night at knitting group I made sure to sit in the vicinity of Obi Wan K-nitty (aka Aaron).. and something amazing happened... the Jedi Knitter vibes took over my knitting and the pattern stitches somehow sorted themselves out.. I didn't all of the sudden have extra stitches trying to be part of the pattern like I was having problems with last week. I even brought the sock to work today and got a few rounds of knitting done between customers. Hopefully if no other problems crop up out of the blue, I should have a finished sock in no time and then I will get to do it all again. But this time I'll have my notes and check off lists to help me (hopefully) only need 1 try to get it right and not 4 tries like the first sock did.

Dear Anonymous:

I really don't like your comments.. if you feel the need to comment on something please be man or woman enough to sign your name.. or make one up. Signing something as Anonymous means that - to me- you are a coward, that you don't want to be responsible for your actions/words.

When I feel the need to comment on someone else's blog or post - be it on a board for moms or even facebook - I always sign my name. Even if what I have to say is not going to be met with anything positive in response. I always sign my name and take responsibility for my words. I apologize when I have wronged someone or said something inappropriate. I might even feel deep down that I am correct in my information or opinion, but I try my best to make amends.

I also don't appreciate the timing. I am in mourning and about to bury my grandmother. Talk about kicking a person when they are down.

So Anonymous... I offer you a compromise:

If you come forward and tell me who you are I will not be mad. I will not talk negatively about your actions. I'd be willing to talk it out with you and get to a mutual understanding even if we have to agree to disagree.

If you decide not to reveal yourself, that is fine too. It will be on your conscious that you decided to do this and someday what you have done will bite you in the hindquarters and that is enough consolation for me.

RIP Nana Sarno

My grandmother finally passed today.. I'm ok... really. Ok I'm a little numb but at the same time I feel at peace. She was 96 years old and a feisty lady in her younger days. She had really good baking skills and could make a great Lemon Meringue Pie - though my mom's is just as good if not better. She taught us all sorts of card games such as Go Fish and King's Corner. She loved to dance and would sing as she put on her various lotions each day. One time while I was visiting her in Florida she took me and my Dad to Daytona Beach - my only trip there ever- and we parked right on the beach and even let me sunbathe on the hood of her car. That was quite the experience.

I remember that when I got my driver's license that she sent me a nice keychain that had "New Driver" written on it. I think I still have it somewhere. She always remembered our birthdays and never minded the little kid chatter and silence when she called us or we called her on the phone. I was thrilled when she moved back to MA from FL in 1996. She and my Papa Sarno- my grandfather - had moved to FL when I was 2 and I missed having her around even though she came to visit just about every summer starting in 1979.

She attended my wedding in 1999 and also attended my cousin's wedding a few weeks later but looking at the photos today, we could see that Alzheimer's was already starting to claim her from us even then. When my Dad died in 2001, she was already a patient in a lockdown Alzheimer's unit and we didn't have the heart to tell her that he was gone. Thirteen months later we didn't have the heart to tell her that her youngest son had passed also. Hopefully today when she saw them in Heaven she wasn't too mad at us for not telling her. But she might have been too busy reuniting with my grandfather to be too upset.

Love you Nana... you were a wonderful Grandmother and will be missed.

Madeline Izzo Sarno 5/9/1914 - 1/19/2011

Stressed backwards spells Desserts

subtitle: Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.

I am a really nice person. I have my moments of totally bitch on wheels at times but I really and truly in my heart of hearts am a Nice person. I need a break though. Luckily, thanks to a really great friend, I'll be getting a break soon enough.

Nana still isn't doing all that well. I got a message from my brother today that her breathing is getting shallower but that she's still alive. Hopefully she'll pass soon but as one of the nurses that I talked with on Saturday said, she's a stubborn lady. This might drag itself out a bit longer.

I did get lucky today twice though. 1st instance was at Old Navy. My brother had gone online to get some presents for A&L and had them shipped to my mom's house. There was 2 of everything he had ordered except for one item that stated on the receipt would be shipped separately. So we waited, and waited. I finally called the Customer Service number and found out that it was no longer available but that I could try to find it at a retail store or exchange the one that I had for something else. So Mom and I along with the girls headed over to the mall today and found the item we needed. The only downside was that it was a 2T and not a 3T but now the girls can wear them somewhat together - A is more of a 3T and L is more of a 2T lately. Best part... they only cost me $5.99 total. The second instance was at Payless Shoes since I've been looking for some slippers for the girls that they can hopefully wear and not outgrow in a few weeks. I came upon a BOGO 50% off sale. I also found one pair of Dora slippers for L in size 7-8 and one pair of Princess slippers for A in size 7-8. The clerk was so nice and helped me clip all the tags so that the girls could wear them as they strolled the mall in their umbrella strollers. Total cost with the BOGO was $14.99 since the Princess ones came up at $12.99 and the Dora ones were $4 but I got them for half that or $2.

The girls have been putting us through the wringer lately since they have been cooped up inside for too long. So I took them to Grandma's yesterday to let them run around and play and hopefully nap. While there Anna told me that I am her best friend... awww... and Lily finally took a nap. Anna also has a new saying that we love to say back to her.. 'Come back here.... I like you.' They've also had some really bad runny noses lately too. Last night I finally got Anna to take some medicine and tonight when I offered it to her she willingly took more. If only I could get Lily to take some too. The poor kid - Lily- has been snoring so badly lately that she is rivaling her daddy.

Oh one last cuteism.. lately when you ask Anna a question or say that she's - fill in the blank - she'll say 'No I'm Anastasia'. Too cute.

Feeling Random tonight

so here are some random thoughts from me...

1. I am so glad that I found the last Wine Cooler in the fridge..

2. I really needed it

3. Visiting Nana wasn't that bad today... but a little harder than it was last week

4. I can't believe that I screwed up the socks ... again

5. I'm starting to thing that the socks will never get done.. and I really want to finish them

6. I think the girls are going stir crazy from being inside since Tuesday night...

7. I really don't want to lose one of them in a snowbank

8. that would be really bad

9. Tomorrow i am doing a deep clean of the apartment

10. I'll leave the girls room for Thursday... when they are at school

11. it will go quicker that way

12. I so need a massage.. but that costs $$$$ that we don't have

13. The basement is starting to look tons better since I've been deep cleaning down there also

14. 4 big black bags and 3 little white bags later... I also have quite a few donations to make to my cousin's florist shop and to a teacher friend of mine.

15. I still have tons to do down in the basement but I'll get it done.

16. My wine cooler is almost gone.. correction... it is gone..

Memories

I got some news tonight that has me feeling nostalgic... My Grandmother (I called her Nana) is not doing well and may pass away very soon. I've felt conflicted about her the past few years.. She has Alzheimer's and hasn't known me in years. I don't like visiting her too much since I prefer to remember her the way that she was and not as the way she has been for the past almost 12 years. She shares her date of birth with my oldest niece and I've always thought that was a really cool thing for my niece to share with her great grandma. I remember when Sammie turned 2 and Nana turned 90 that we took Sammie to go and visit with Nana and how upset Sammie was that we were leaving the balloons that we had brought for Nana.

I also remember

• the brownie incident that happened at our house when Nana attempted to make her delicious brownies and wound up burning them so badly that we couldn't eat them.
• how when she would be staying at our house in the summer that she got to sleep in my bed and I would sleep on a cot next to my bed.
• the card games that she taught me to play and how sometime a game of Go Fish would turn into us picking up cards till one of us got what we needed.
• visiting her in Florida and seeing the care that she took with her skincare regimen and that she would sing as she put her various creams on her face.

I hope and believe that when she does eventually pass (whether it's this week or some time further down the line) that she will be greeted with open arms by Papa (my grandfather) , my Dad and my Uncle Alan who passed before her along with her brothers and sisters that are up there too.

In a Funk

I admit I messed up... I posted on a mommy board about how well Lee and I have been doing lately and well let's say that my timing and wording was off... big time. I admitted my mistake once it was pointed out to me.. but the responses have put me into a funk over the past couple of days. I'm not mean or manipulative.. I didn't do it intentionally. Shall I mention that the responses rolled in on a day that is not usually a good calendar day for me.. and made what was shaping up to be a good day for once, into a not so good day.

I feel like I am surrounded lately by people who are having relationship problems and all I was doing was sharing my one little ray of sunshine. Unfortunately (like I said above) my timing and wording was off. Then again even before the responses came in I jinxed myself anyway by posting something happy and light on this particular board.

So I'm going to be treading lightly there for now.. I'll still post but I'll be more careful about what I say and how I say it. In the meantime... I just need a hug..