One Year ago....

It doesn't seem possible that...

one year ago I had a healthy husband, 2 year old twins and was heading to California to go and visit Lee's mom, brother and SIL.


One year ago we visited with and videoed Lee's mom with our girls.


One year ago I was thinking about how great it was that the girls were finally getting to meet their Grandma Ringen.


One year ago we took the girls on an hour's walk around my BIL's neighborhood to help tire them out for a nap.


One year ago the girls rode the merry go round for the first and second time and loved it.


One year ago Lee was not looking forward to saying goodbye to his mom since he was afraid that it would be the last time that he would see her alive.


One year ago I would have never thought that I would lose my husband.

A small announcement

No I'm not shutting myself down.... I have too much to say... but this is my 300th post on here and I don't want to waste it on mundane stuff.. My SIL and BIL were here today to see the kids and I while they are on this coast doing some visiting. Debbie mentioned that a widow she knows would write in a journal to and about her husband. I liked that idea.. so I'm adopting it.. I'm thinking once a week will be my day to write the blog as a letter to Lee about what is going on around here.. what the girls are doing, how we are coping.. I might do it the old fashioned way (paper and pen) but I like the thought of doing it electronically. I'll see how it feels and go from there.

The girls and I are heading to the cemetary this weekend for the first time together. There is a ceremony for the families of those that have been buried over the past year on Saturday morning. I figured it might be the best timing for bringing the girls up there. I'm hoping that it goes ok.. I'm hoping that I keep it somewhat together.. If anyone knows how to explain where I am taking the girls before Saturday please let me know.. I need all the advice I can muster..

Momma you ok

Ugh... Momma has not been feeling too good lately... not sure why.. I'll go with allergies to pollen levels for now.. but I have been coughing for a few days now.. it's a great Ab workout..not. I have been taking decongestant and Tussin CM to keep it in check but I think the high rate of me coughing has gotten the girls a touch worried.. I heard the words Momma you ok a few times today especially. This is when I miss Lee the most.. when I'm not feeling good.. if he were here I could just take a well deserved nap and know that he would keep an eye on them. But that's not my reality anymore.. Yeah i could have called someone to help me out but it's also a holiday weekend.. so I doubt that anyone would have been home.

On a slightly unrelated note.. Lily especially has been rather upset and wanting her Daddy.. Tonight I tried a new tactic.. I had recently hung up a few pictures of Lee and the 4 of us together.. So I brought her to one of the pictures and told her to say Hi to Daddy and tell him that she misses him.. it sort of worked and not to be left out, Anna wanted a turn too. She did a bit better with the message.