Easter 2011

I was so busy with Lee and everything else that I almost forgot about Easter this year.. Luckily I had bought dresses for the girls way back in the beginning of March so I at least had that taken care of. Girls and I got invited to an Easter Egg Hunt for today at my cousin's house. We went and had a great time after a really brief crying jag on my Aunt's shoulder when she asked me how I really am doing and I got hit by a wave of emotion that I couldn't ignore. The girls had a great time and that's what mattered most. That is that they have great memories of the fun that they had today. Very thankful that we had that to look forward to and do today.

Yesterday my work had a Community Egg Hunt at the park near my mom's house. We arrived a little wet (it was raining) and a few minutes late and wound up missing the entire hunt itself. Somehow 5000 eggs were all snatched up in mere moments. Thankfully we ran into some friends that were willing to share their eggs with us. My boss made sure that the girls got a few more eggs each and we left with quite a few pink and green balloons to play with at Grandma's house. I guess we'll try again next year. We did get a picture or two with the Easter Bunny and a reporter for the local paper took our picture too.

Now that Easter is over, I'm looking forward to a week that will hopefully keep me busy enough to not dwell on the shoulda, woulda, couldas that float into my brain at a moment's notice and make me sad and mad at the same time. I head back to the toy shop on Thursday and am looking forward to it. Nights are really hard for me right now. I'm not totally good at being alone for too long yet with the girls but I'm hoping to get back to something resembling 'normal' soon enough. In the meantime it's all about keeping me and the girls busy.

Been awhile

I've been extremely busy with other stuff... most of it had to do with Lee.
He passed away on April 11th and I haven't been myself since. I did have a CarePages page for him but I've decided to stop posting there. I'll keep it up so that I can read it whenever I want to. The link there is http://www.carepages.com/carepages/OurDaddy .

The girls and I are doing the best that you can expect at the moment. There are lots of tears from all 3 of us.. Lily has not been having a good day today.. she's been really clingy and whiny. Not a good combo when I'm not feeling too confident in myself and my abilities yet. I need to keep myself going though. I have to stay strong and find my new balance for myself and my girls. That is what Lee would have wanted.

Untitled for a reason

You all know that I tend to ramble and today is going to be no different.

I've been dealing with quite a bit as of late. Most of my friends and family know the news already. Lee is dying. My wonderful husband of almost 12 years is laying in a bed at a Hospice dying. Our relationship (all 18 years) has seen more ups and downs than the stock market at times. I still love and care for Lee more than anyone will ever understand. I am going to miss him something awful and the girls I know will be very upset also. My world is getting much smaller on a daily basis. I am lucky to have so many people in our lives that care and will be there for us no matter what.